I met Reg and Nigel at nine o’clock this morning. They were coming out of the Co-op supermarket with arms full of cans of Stella Artois.
‘Are you two drunk?’ I asked, incredulous.
‘You better believe it, Davy-Boy!’ Reg bellowed. ‘Been on the whiskey all night and all bloody morning, too.’
‘Wanna make something of it?’ slurred Nigel, [...]

‘Morning, Reg. What you got there?’
‘Brackets, Davy-me-lad. Putting some shelves up in Nigel’s room.’
‘He’s settling in, then?’
‘Looks like he’ll be with me for some time. His wife’s playing silly buggers.’
I felt obliged to ask for an explanation but did not. I think my eyes betrayed my disinterest because Reg just sighed.
I was about to take [...]

Reg has a new friend, a rather disagreeable little man with a penchant for buff-coloured nylon anoraks and greasy hair. Audrey and I bumped into them both this morning on the rec’.
‘This is Nigel,’ Reg told me. ‘He’s staying with me for a while. His wife has turned lesbo.’
‘Pardon?’
‘Lesbian,’ explained Nigel.
‘Oh. Well . . . [...]